Journal #1
9/16/21
Wow, I’m a senior. It feels like yesterday I was just accepted to this school and had to face the fear of meeting people I’ve never seen before but now we’re in our last year of high school. There has been tons of learning and foundation that has led to now being a senior now, in and out of school. I have very high hopes and expectations for this school year. It's such a bitter sweet experience but nonetheless I’m excited and as ready as I’ll ever be. I’ve only been in my senior seminar class for 3 weeks but have already learned so much. Mrs. Boutilier is such a great teacher and is already one of my favorite teachers I’ve ever had and I’ve only known her for a couple weeks. She gave me the push into the right direction when it comes to my senior capstone project. This summer I came into the year thinking my capstone ideas and college visions would just come to fruition and manifest itself, but I was wrong. After my first week I had become self aware and realized that I had zero capstone vision or ideas and had no clue how I’d get into my dream schools. Once Mrs. Boutilier gave me the push I needed. Since then I've been motivated and haven’t stopped planning and working on my project, whether it’s mentally planning or actually taking action. Which is huge for me because slow progress is still some type of progress, which takes me to my personal progress. I feel like I’ve grown a lot. Not only from freshman year to now but from last week to this week or even from yesterday to today. I’ve learned something new everyday and this year everything I’ve learned has been somehow applied to my capstone project. My capstone will even take some more personal progress and growth because I am going to be taking on tons of responsibilities and tasks to make sure the job I signed up for gets completed. I’m very excited to see where this project and year takes me, senior year is a marathon and I’m going to take it one step at a time
9/16/21
Wow, I’m a senior. It feels like yesterday I was just accepted to this school and had to face the fear of meeting people I’ve never seen before but now we’re in our last year of high school. There has been tons of learning and foundation that has led to now being a senior now, in and out of school. I have very high hopes and expectations for this school year. It's such a bitter sweet experience but nonetheless I’m excited and as ready as I’ll ever be. I’ve only been in my senior seminar class for 3 weeks but have already learned so much. Mrs. Boutilier is such a great teacher and is already one of my favorite teachers I’ve ever had and I’ve only known her for a couple weeks. She gave me the push into the right direction when it comes to my senior capstone project. This summer I came into the year thinking my capstone ideas and college visions would just come to fruition and manifest itself, but I was wrong. After my first week I had become self aware and realized that I had zero capstone vision or ideas and had no clue how I’d get into my dream schools. Once Mrs. Boutilier gave me the push I needed. Since then I've been motivated and haven’t stopped planning and working on my project, whether it’s mentally planning or actually taking action. Which is huge for me because slow progress is still some type of progress, which takes me to my personal progress. I feel like I’ve grown a lot. Not only from freshman year to now but from last week to this week or even from yesterday to today. I’ve learned something new everyday and this year everything I’ve learned has been somehow applied to my capstone project. My capstone will even take some more personal progress and growth because I am going to be taking on tons of responsibilities and tasks to make sure the job I signed up for gets completed. I’m very excited to see where this project and year takes me, senior year is a marathon and I’m going to take it one step at a time
Journal #2
10/8/21
The month of September has been good but most times confusing and overwhelming, although, I feel like I’ve grown and maintained a steady pace. Lately I feel like I haven’t been trying hard enough. It’s like I'm doing just enough to get by but not doing nearly enough to be ahead of the curve and have not only the grades but just the overall outcome of multiple aspects of my life. I am learning that I have the potential to do all the things I set out to do but without the energy to give full effort nothing will get done. I have high standards and goals for myself but to reach those goals and standards I need to work just as hard as I dream. The only thing I need is to stay on track. For example, my dream school is New York University which is a prestigious school and a school that is going to be very hard for me to get into but with the half ass effort I’ve been giving I’ll be lucky to make it into NYU. I just want to feel like I am on track and can always say I am trying my hardest in everything I do but right now I can’t. I don’t have good balance when it comes to juggling all of the many responsibilities I have in my life. I have to perform well in football, maintain good grades, finish all of my work in a high and timely manner, work on my capstone, be a good brother/friend/son, and so much more. I just feel so overwhelmed, I want to be great already but the struggle and process to greatness is drowning me.
10/8/21
The month of September has been good but most times confusing and overwhelming, although, I feel like I’ve grown and maintained a steady pace. Lately I feel like I haven’t been trying hard enough. It’s like I'm doing just enough to get by but not doing nearly enough to be ahead of the curve and have not only the grades but just the overall outcome of multiple aspects of my life. I am learning that I have the potential to do all the things I set out to do but without the energy to give full effort nothing will get done. I have high standards and goals for myself but to reach those goals and standards I need to work just as hard as I dream. The only thing I need is to stay on track. For example, my dream school is New York University which is a prestigious school and a school that is going to be very hard for me to get into but with the half ass effort I’ve been giving I’ll be lucky to make it into NYU. I just want to feel like I am on track and can always say I am trying my hardest in everything I do but right now I can’t. I don’t have good balance when it comes to juggling all of the many responsibilities I have in my life. I have to perform well in football, maintain good grades, finish all of my work in a high and timely manner, work on my capstone, be a good brother/friend/son, and so much more. I just feel so overwhelmed, I want to be great already but the struggle and process to greatness is drowning me.
Journal #3
11/8/21
Throughout this entire quarter I’ve gone through plenty of ups and minimal downs but it was the downs that really gave me a reality check when it comes to my senior year. I have not only done what I wanted to but surpassed what I wanted to do in some aspects. Although, the one thing I feel like I have not spent enough time on is applying to colleges and worrying about my next step. I know my goal is always to be better than I was yesterday and I believe I did that. I've steadily improved everyday at some aspect of my school, personal, or athletic life. With how my project is set up I’ll never be worried about field work, I’ve already surpassed the amount of hours I wanted. I approached my research paper in a very weird but somewhat effective way. I feel like I could’ve devoted more time to the paper and given a better overall paper but I wrote a decent rough draft and definitely worked my butt off to give Mrs. Boutilier a very good final draft paper. When it comes to my capstone my biggest goal for this quarter is transitioning my fieldwork into the basketball season. I’ve been doing the weekly pasta dinners for my football team which I have been deeply enjoying but now the next step is switching this over to the basketball season. I’m really never the type to shout myself out and congratulate myself because I can always do better but I feel like I’ve really stepped up and taken responsibility for my schoolwork, capstone, sports and every other aspect of my life. Although I am the type of person to call myself out when it comes to the negatives, I can say there was a time where I wasn’t focused and shut down whenever something didn’t go my way. The one thing I learned about myself not only from the field trip but just being around my peers is that they look at me as a leader and someone who is able to take initiative in whatever I put my mind to.
11/8/21
Throughout this entire quarter I’ve gone through plenty of ups and minimal downs but it was the downs that really gave me a reality check when it comes to my senior year. I have not only done what I wanted to but surpassed what I wanted to do in some aspects. Although, the one thing I feel like I have not spent enough time on is applying to colleges and worrying about my next step. I know my goal is always to be better than I was yesterday and I believe I did that. I've steadily improved everyday at some aspect of my school, personal, or athletic life. With how my project is set up I’ll never be worried about field work, I’ve already surpassed the amount of hours I wanted. I approached my research paper in a very weird but somewhat effective way. I feel like I could’ve devoted more time to the paper and given a better overall paper but I wrote a decent rough draft and definitely worked my butt off to give Mrs. Boutilier a very good final draft paper. When it comes to my capstone my biggest goal for this quarter is transitioning my fieldwork into the basketball season. I’ve been doing the weekly pasta dinners for my football team which I have been deeply enjoying but now the next step is switching this over to the basketball season. I’m really never the type to shout myself out and congratulate myself because I can always do better but I feel like I’ve really stepped up and taken responsibility for my schoolwork, capstone, sports and every other aspect of my life. Although I am the type of person to call myself out when it comes to the negatives, I can say there was a time where I wasn’t focused and shut down whenever something didn’t go my way. The one thing I learned about myself not only from the field trip but just being around my peers is that they look at me as a leader and someone who is able to take initiative in whatever I put my mind to.
Journal #4
12/3/21
I first want to start off by saying time really does not stop for no one. I just finished my final high school football season and could very well have been my last time ever playing football again. Since the beginning of the year I’ve made tons of progress personally, academically, and within my Capstone but I feel like there is tons of room for improvement. I’ve been very inconsistent with everything I'm involved in. For example, personally I’ve failed to hold up my end of certain responsibilities like getting a head start on college scholarships. Academically I’m honestly scared, I feel like I am so inconsistent it frightens me. One week I can be on top of everything and not have much to worry about but then the next week I’m behind on work that I know I should be completing. The one thing I can say is that I’ve been very consistent throughout the year with my capstone project. I’ve definitely had some times where I could’ve been more focused but I have made tremendous strides with my project. Nearing the end of the football season I had my last few pasta dinners and was planning on what I should do to transition to basketball season and once I had my idea down with the help of my new mentor Mr. McKay everything switched over very smoothly. As a person, student, and athlete I’ve continued to grow daily which is the only thing I have always promised myself. I just want to be better today than I was yesterday, no matter how large or small the task at hand might be. I feel like I had my “aha” moment during my senior football night. Towards the end of the game I was thinking and realized how many young men's lives I impacted. Not only did I provide pregame pasta dinners for the team but I was their starting quarterback. Which makes me their leader and the person that they look up to, I realized that I had the opportunity to be a positive and supportive influence on their lives and I hope they viewed me in that perspective because character isn’t how you view yourself but how others perceive you and I want to be perceived as a hard working leader that is respectful and determined. I’ve been pushed out of my comfort zone multiple times this year and it has made me understand what I should and should not do when it comes to adulting and handling certain situations on my own. I really enjoy writing these journals, it helps me release and talk about things that may be stressing me out or just vent.
12/3/21
I first want to start off by saying time really does not stop for no one. I just finished my final high school football season and could very well have been my last time ever playing football again. Since the beginning of the year I’ve made tons of progress personally, academically, and within my Capstone but I feel like there is tons of room for improvement. I’ve been very inconsistent with everything I'm involved in. For example, personally I’ve failed to hold up my end of certain responsibilities like getting a head start on college scholarships. Academically I’m honestly scared, I feel like I am so inconsistent it frightens me. One week I can be on top of everything and not have much to worry about but then the next week I’m behind on work that I know I should be completing. The one thing I can say is that I’ve been very consistent throughout the year with my capstone project. I’ve definitely had some times where I could’ve been more focused but I have made tremendous strides with my project. Nearing the end of the football season I had my last few pasta dinners and was planning on what I should do to transition to basketball season and once I had my idea down with the help of my new mentor Mr. McKay everything switched over very smoothly. As a person, student, and athlete I’ve continued to grow daily which is the only thing I have always promised myself. I just want to be better today than I was yesterday, no matter how large or small the task at hand might be. I feel like I had my “aha” moment during my senior football night. Towards the end of the game I was thinking and realized how many young men's lives I impacted. Not only did I provide pregame pasta dinners for the team but I was their starting quarterback. Which makes me their leader and the person that they look up to, I realized that I had the opportunity to be a positive and supportive influence on their lives and I hope they viewed me in that perspective because character isn’t how you view yourself but how others perceive you and I want to be perceived as a hard working leader that is respectful and determined. I’ve been pushed out of my comfort zone multiple times this year and it has made me understand what I should and should not do when it comes to adulting and handling certain situations on my own. I really enjoy writing these journals, it helps me release and talk about things that may be stressing me out or just vent.
Journal #5
12/20/22
December was a month of adversity, uncertainty, and progress. Starting with my capstone, I was able to not only start the second portion of it but get through the part I thought would be the most challenging and at times it was challenging. Starting with the fact that throughout the entire first and some of the second day we released the shirts to be bought there were problems with the google form. Multiple classes were either unable to access the google form or could actually edit the form like they were the creator. This was honestly the biggest problem we had, eventually things worked themselves out and we exceeded the amount of shirts we wanted to sell which meant we were able to buy a few extra shirts and now be able to sell them after the original sale. The only other struggle I had after this was COVID, since the cases of COVID-19 are rising once again Hartford Public Schools had decided to not allow fans into the basketball games which messes with my entire plan to allow students to have free admission to all of the boys basketball games. At first I was stressed because I received a little bit of backlash from the students but I realized that it was really out of my control so I was at peace with the entire situation. Honestly this year has been pretty weird for me, I’ve had my ups and downs but still I feel like I’ve always been on the edge in some way. It’s like I’m waiting for something to happen whether it's good or bad and it has honestly been stressful for me because I can never embrace or enjoy the present moment when I have to constantly be worrying about what's next. December was a huge month for me to get and stay on track with my plans the rest of the year. I can honestly say that I am excited and ready to get through 2022 and see where my school life and personal life takes me.
12/20/22
December was a month of adversity, uncertainty, and progress. Starting with my capstone, I was able to not only start the second portion of it but get through the part I thought would be the most challenging and at times it was challenging. Starting with the fact that throughout the entire first and some of the second day we released the shirts to be bought there were problems with the google form. Multiple classes were either unable to access the google form or could actually edit the form like they were the creator. This was honestly the biggest problem we had, eventually things worked themselves out and we exceeded the amount of shirts we wanted to sell which meant we were able to buy a few extra shirts and now be able to sell them after the original sale. The only other struggle I had after this was COVID, since the cases of COVID-19 are rising once again Hartford Public Schools had decided to not allow fans into the basketball games which messes with my entire plan to allow students to have free admission to all of the boys basketball games. At first I was stressed because I received a little bit of backlash from the students but I realized that it was really out of my control so I was at peace with the entire situation. Honestly this year has been pretty weird for me, I’ve had my ups and downs but still I feel like I’ve always been on the edge in some way. It’s like I’m waiting for something to happen whether it's good or bad and it has honestly been stressful for me because I can never embrace or enjoy the present moment when I have to constantly be worrying about what's next. December was a huge month for me to get and stay on track with my plans the rest of the year. I can honestly say that I am excited and ready to get through 2022 and see where my school life and personal life takes me.
Journal #6
1/15/22
Honestly this month of January has been a rollercoaster, I’ve been dealing with a lot and still having the energy and time to work on my capstone and get work done for all my classes has really shown me that I can do anything no matter what I may be going through. I know once I get to college that I’ll have to complete my work no matter how I feel so this is just preparation for then. My capstone has been shaping up really well since I switched over to basketball, once we got all of the orders in we made even more profit then we expected so with that extra money we were able to purchase 22 extra shirts which we can sell for even more profit. Once we received the shirts we immediately distributed them and it was definitely the best part of my capstone. I feel like seeing people receive the shirts and being happy about receiving the shirts really made me feel good about my project. After we let out the form, received the orders from students, placed our order for the shirts, and then eventually released the shirts to the people who bought them, the next step was figuring out what to do with the money we made. This honestly has been a slight struggle for Makhi and I but the thing we both agreed on is using the money for after the basketball season. For example, when we hopefully receive an accomplishment worthy of a banner we can use this money for the banner or use the money to purchase hardware rewarded for winning a championship. Another struggle I had was still not hearing a shift in fan capacity for Hartford schools basketball programs. I was at peace with everything because I knew it was out of my control and eventually the people who purchased the shirts understood that as well. I really love how my capstone and this semester went and couldn’t be happier with it. Mrs. Boutilier has been a role model, mentor, and someone I trust very deeply. I view her as like a second mom to me. I’ve learned how to be a better young man because of her and her class. I have much to work on with my capstone and personally but that’s the road to what I view as success. Thank you!
1/15/22
Honestly this month of January has been a rollercoaster, I’ve been dealing with a lot and still having the energy and time to work on my capstone and get work done for all my classes has really shown me that I can do anything no matter what I may be going through. I know once I get to college that I’ll have to complete my work no matter how I feel so this is just preparation for then. My capstone has been shaping up really well since I switched over to basketball, once we got all of the orders in we made even more profit then we expected so with that extra money we were able to purchase 22 extra shirts which we can sell for even more profit. Once we received the shirts we immediately distributed them and it was definitely the best part of my capstone. I feel like seeing people receive the shirts and being happy about receiving the shirts really made me feel good about my project. After we let out the form, received the orders from students, placed our order for the shirts, and then eventually released the shirts to the people who bought them, the next step was figuring out what to do with the money we made. This honestly has been a slight struggle for Makhi and I but the thing we both agreed on is using the money for after the basketball season. For example, when we hopefully receive an accomplishment worthy of a banner we can use this money for the banner or use the money to purchase hardware rewarded for winning a championship. Another struggle I had was still not hearing a shift in fan capacity for Hartford schools basketball programs. I was at peace with everything because I knew it was out of my control and eventually the people who purchased the shirts understood that as well. I really love how my capstone and this semester went and couldn’t be happier with it. Mrs. Boutilier has been a role model, mentor, and someone I trust very deeply. I view her as like a second mom to me. I’ve learned how to be a better young man because of her and her class. I have much to work on with my capstone and personally but that’s the road to what I view as success. Thank you!